he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
