You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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