your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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