he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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