before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I need to calm my uterus...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Come on in and take your pants off
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