Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
