He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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