therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Randomize
