evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
