dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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