I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We need to rekindle our bromance
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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