Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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