By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize