Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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