Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
