The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Randomize
