a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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