I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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