Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize