Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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