He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
