We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
