and you said cock pushups were impossible
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
