hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
