Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize