he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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