so explain again why im purple
no
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
