idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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