Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
