Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
