This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
