yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
