Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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