i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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