tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
