she woke up with a sticky ear
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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