Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
