I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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