That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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