I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
id be glad to
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize