We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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