At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize