Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
