i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
