I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
