Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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