My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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