I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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