I am puke
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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