I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The uberlube is also flammable
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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