i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She even gives head with a lisp.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
