if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
