You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
