i just sent this text using only my big toe
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
