I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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