too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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