It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
