So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
