Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize