Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
