THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
