I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
so much tequila, so little girl.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
