hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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