Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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