You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
