I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
