Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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