Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
How does one acquire holy water?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
