I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize